blades of grass and decisions of life

I keep flip flopping on the Teach for America subject. TFA is unarguably the most prestigious job opportunity I can be offered upon graduation with relation to education and would likely set me apart from such a large percentage of applicants should I decide to look more into Harvard Graduate School of Educaation, but I’m not 100% convinced it’s where I need to be.  Have you known anyone who has pursued TFA? I have an offer in front of me to be a high school math teacher in Eastern North Carolina for the next two years with a steady salary, benefits, and a support system most places could only dream of offering to their employees, and yet I’m considering turning it down in less than 24 hours.  I’m not sure what advice you can offer here, but I wanted to see if I might be able to gather your thoughts on this.  I’m not sure that I am the best person to explain math to students. Maybe teaching is all just ‘how to’s and what really matters is where your heart is and without a doubt, my heart is for giving these kids the opportunities they deserve.  In talking with the director of the region, she mentioned how doing TFA would obviously change my life forever, but it could also help me narrow down that I want to be a guidance counselor.  This is true, but that doesn’t convince me I should do it.  Is it truly fair to students for me to want to give them the best opportunity and strongly believe they should have that opportunity and say that I’m the person to teach them when i think i’m more of a mentor than a tutor. Aka guidance counselor vs. teacher.  I’m not convinced. I believe with every part of me in the mission of Teach for America, and like I said, it’s the most prestigious opportunity I could be offered, and it would give me money for grad school, practically write my ticket to grad school potentially, and put me around a ton of other people with hearts for the underprivileged in education.  I would be a part of a movement bigger than myself, in education.  Teach for America is on the ground experience in the worst schools in america working to give them equal opportunities and would change my life in ways I couldn’t imagine, but is it where I need to be right now.  46,000 people applied. 4,500 were accepted.  Clearly there are people who believe I can do this.  I can, I have no doubt, but will I? I’m just not convinced. In prayer, I keep being gently and forcefully reminded that God leads his sheep to a field of good options but does not tell us which blade of grass to eat.

Just my thoughts.


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